The Road Not Taken

I've come to realize that I live in a sea of regret. I hate that about myself, and I truly wish I could change it. And I'm constantly crawling... the proof is under the bandages on my knees from softball.

I get to the point of wondering how things would be for me if I had made some different decisions. If I had gone down the road not taken. Been a little different. What would I be like? Where would I live? Who would I be with? Who would I stay friends with and who would I have lost? It's a very interesting exercise in reflection... something I usually try to avoid. But still, I wonder, who could I be today?

I'm still hopeful for good things to happen soon, and things are still starting to look more optimistic. Sadly though, I keep having dreams that back in April I had received better news, and that I would be on the road to a PhD right now, and not unemployed and scrounging for some semblance of a future. I wish I knew which path I could take next... and already see what's at the end of it...